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Mee'shel

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[18 Jan 2006|10:21pm]
MY POSTING PICTURE ENTRIES WILL BE NOW POSTED ON

UNCLE_CHEL

I ADDED YOU.. ADD ME BACK
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little rose bud. i hate booboo [14 Jan 2006|12:13am]
[ mood | Devestated ]

i had a good cry tonight.





it was only for two minutes though, but it was one of those solid good crys. It was one of thoese crys i lookfoward too when i'm around other people. When the tears build up in the corners of my eyes. I avoid eye contact, i pretend i have a cold. All i want to do is run away close the door and feel sorry for myself. Have a good cry.
i remember last week thinking. i have it good. I mean i do non-the-less. too bad i'm not selfless and loyal, i realize that people do love me, my mom loves me, i'm not scared, i'm not lonely, i'm not parinoid. I suppose I am i'm a little bit of them all. I'm alright with that. something had to come up sooner or later. it just hurts, thats all.

I found out something that i always knew tonight. I guess hearing it from someone else makes it more painful. Even though its not that painful to start of with, well for some people. I found out a lot of things tonight, things that i never even considered. Over the last year or so, i've been told a lot of hurtful things. I guess growing older i was bound to face this unbearably truth... the thing is tho, that everything was always there. I was just too young to understand. And frankly, i wish i never had to grow up. I loved believing the things that i always knew. Everything was right, Everything was perfect. I feel so dejected. so lost. so unloved. the funny thing about it was, i knew it all along. perhaps i'm overreacting. but i just well. thought that i were it. even though i was. but, i wasn't.

another thing that has been replaying in my mind lately is my father. people have told me that i look just like him. That i am him in every way. I wish i were him. I just can't imagine that i'm this whole other person, someone i've never really met. I mean i've meet him, was held by him. but i honestly dont remember. Who was he? He played the Bass, he was in a band, loved laughing at jokes, had long hair, loved science, was observant, knew a lot about practical things and loved space. Thats all i know really. My aunt told me a story about my father tonight, it was about when he was 17 year and he was at the races with my grandfather. My father thought that my grandfather was standing at the bottom of the bowl by the track. My dad ran down the stairs hugged him and put his head on his shoulder and said. hah "daddy, can you give me some money?" it wasn't my grandfather it was some stranger, apparenlty my aunt and dad used to laugh until they cried when they talked about it. I honestly can't picture my father. let alone his 17 year old self. I just wish i could meet him for like 10 minutes, just to hear his voice. ask him questions. See the person who I am. But i can't, i just have faint images of him shaving his head during his chimo therapy and me running away because i was scared. I just wish i knew who he was. who i am.


sorry. i had to vent.

these are things one never truly gets over.

8 walk this way <3 talk this way

oy [13 Jan 2006|10:52am]
[ mood | hungry ]

All i can think about is mcdonals cheeseburgers and taco bells supreme fries.

2 walk this way <3 talk this way

This is the last post of today. promise. [10 Jan 2006|08:51pm]
[ mood | awake ]


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The bum is my future Husband... girlfriend or no girlfriend. i love him all the same
We may not be minks by true nature, nor can we even to attempt to imitate her. but i'm sure having fun trying.. ♥

3 walk this way <3 talk this way

I didn't see the sign. [10 Jan 2006|11:01am]
[ mood | awake ]

Okay, i have realized lately that I've been a posting maniac. I apologize.

You know what? Everything was so evident but i was just too star struck to see it. Hindsight puts everything into prospective, its so clear now. Why didn't i see it before? Too bad its too late. Not that it matters a whole lot anyway. Its just pretty ironic that I didn't even notice. so many hints droped. I failed to see the flashing red light before the car came to a crashing hault.

Too bad so sad. Next time I'll know better.



ps. i was putting away the dishes and i smashed my skull against the open cubbord twice. I guess one time wasn't enough. But the second time i was more pissed off that i did it again rather than hurt.

hey, i didn't even see how my p.s'ing can be the moral to my story. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

1 walk this way <3 talk this way

[09 Jan 2006|10:52pm]
[ mood | amused ]

IF YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING FUNNY GO TO

http://www.visit4info.com/details.cfm?adid=26008


YOU'LL HAVE ME TO THANK WHEN YOU LAUGH UR ASS OFF


SOO FUNNY


- I PINCH

1 walk this way <3 talk this way

farewell. it was nice, not to see you again [08 Jan 2006|12:22am]
[ mood | tired ]

We Can Sleep When We Are 30



my new best friends

http://www.shuuemura-usa.com/images/product/LG/718_lg_sq.gif

you know, sometimes its nice to be make up like a floosie

honestly, i can't begin to tell you why i'm sitting here alone on a Saturday night...
maybe someday i'll grow up cool... until then.

2 walk this way <3 talk this way

I just can't wait, come on spring break!! [04 Jan 2006|07:03pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]


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4 walk this way <3 talk this way

[02 Jan 2006|09:10pm]
[ mood | bored ]


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I made you the person you are today.


TC sleeps alone tonight, not if i can help it.
happy new years!

7 walk this way <3 talk this way

[27 Dec 2005|04:53pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

This magical spell that has been cast upon me 238 days ago has been uplifted.
I'm so over him, and no longer under him.

I feel bomb.It only took a gorgeous red haired boy, ahem i mean blondy brown haired boy to get me a little drunk and have a sleep over with.

Perhaps i've been used. i'm okay with that. I got what i wanted out of it. so infact, he was the one being used and i'm also okay with that.

There is light at the end of the tunnel for Michelle Louise.



Curly hair
nice smile
smooth charm
grade 6 fantasy
and bad one liners

This is all it took to make me feel myself again, and get over it.

Thank you.

8 walk this way <3 talk this way

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